Matthew's Chance Read online

  “Alpha Paetarikeille.” The syllables of the alpha’s name got lost in Ash’s thick accent.

  Matthew sighed. “I feel like I’ve met him before, but I can’t remember. He’s very, uh—” Matthew scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know. Intense.”

  “First Alpha’s mate likes him.”

  Matthew considered that for a second, then sat down on the edge of the bed and stretched back on his elbows, leaving his bare feet on the floor. “So Brendan trusts him?”

  “I believe he does.” Ash’s glittering eyes tracked Matthew’s every movement.

  Matthew had never understood how Ash could give so many signs of interest and yet … obviously have no interest in him whatsoever.

  “What did you mean earlier? When you said I belonged to Brendan? You know that’s not how it is between us.”

  Ash took longer to answer than Matthew expected. Clouds had rolled in and covered the moon, making the night dark and quiet. The wolves who had moved into the cabin weren’t noisy and Matthew could almost swear he heard the sound of Ash’s every breath.

  “You’re his beta. First Alpha would understand if you wanted to show your submission to his mate.”

  Matthew raised his eyebrows. “You mean he’d let Brendan have sex with me if that’s what Brendan wanted?” Matthew shook his head. “No chance. Brendan’s not interested.”

  And of course Matthew wasn’t interested any longer either. That part of his life was over.

  “He’s your alpha.”

  “My alpha?” Matthew sat up and rubbed his hand over his shoulder, the scar there a soft ridge under his fingers, then dropped his arm to rest on his knee. “He’s not my alpha. He’s my friend.”

  “But he is still your alpha, and he hasn’t released you from his care.” Ash shifted on his feet, and Matthew wished he could see as well in the dark as the wolves seemed capable of so he would know what was going on inside Ash’s head.

  The wolves had tried to refine their learning technology over the last three years, but the fact remained that some words didn’t translate easily. Matthew had no doubt that was what was going on now.

  “Brendan’s not my alpha.”

  “Then who do you consider to be your alpha?”

  “No one. I don’t have an alpha. Not like you mean.”

  “Then like how?”

  Matthew stared at Ash. “I do what I do because Brendan asked me to, because after I got to know you … and—and the others, I knew it was the right thing to do. Not because Brendan’s my alpha or my boss or anything else. I don’t even do it because he’s my friend. I do it because I want to.”

  The shadowy outline of Ash’s head tilted. “I don’t understand. You submit to him. Everyone knows he’s your alpha.”

  “Well, everyone’s wrong.” Matthew scuffed his foot along the floor and rubbed his hands over his thighs, careful of his injured hand. The soft scratch of fabric filled the silence. After a moment, he added, “I don’t have an alpha. I don’t want one. I’d rather be on my own.”

  “You should have an alpha,” Ash said. He stepped closer to the bed. “Someone to protect you. Alpha Craeigoer would accept you.”

  Matthew choked out a laugh. “I don’t need an alpha. I need a goddamn—” Mate, he would have said. He quickly stopped and let himself fall back on the bed, sighing heavily.

  He’d taken to thinking about lovers as mates after spending too much time with Brendan and Fletcher and Ian and the other humans who now made their homes with the wolves. Sal had been a temporary mate, someone to stop the loneliness from eating a hole in his gut. He continued gruffly, “Never mind.”

  “You’re tired.”

  “Yeah, I’m tired.” He closed his eyes and rested his forearm over his face.

  He heard Ash cross the small room. Hands landed heavy on Matthew’s thighs, and Matthew jerked, startled, throwing his arm to the side. “What—”

  “You aren’t comfortable.” Ash moved his strong hands and grasped Matthew’s legs below the knees, dragging Matthew to the side, releasing him when he was fully stretched out on the mattress.

  Matthew made a sound in the back of his throat. “I was just resting my eyes.”

  “Now you can rest your body.”

  “Where are you going to sleep?” Matthew stretched his arm up and tucked his forearm under his head, watching Ash as closely as he could in the dark. “Or are you?”

  “I will, after a while.”

  “Aren’t you worried that the one everybody calls Watcher is just going to kill us all the first chance he gets?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I sure as hell am.”

  Ash stood silent for a moment, most likely contemplating why Matthew still didn’t understand wolves after three years, but—hell, Matthew had started to think he would probably never understand them.

  “He swore his fealty.”

  “And I’m running around with renegades determined to either run you off the planet or kill every last one of you. I don’t see why he couldn’t be attempting to do the same damn thing.”

  “He would have been obligated to follow his alpha no matter what course his alpha chose. If the watcher has such deep concerns about his alpha’s course that he would sever that bond and swear fealty to another at the first opportunity then we must offer him sanctuary.”

  “I hope to God he has something that makes it worth the trouble he caused me.”

  “You agreed that he didn’t hurt you. If he did—”

  “No, he didn’t, but I have something to show you and I can’t do it if we’re stuck helping this wolf with whatever shit he’s got himself into.”

  Ash surprised Matthew by reaching out and taking Matthew’s wrist in hand. He turned Matthew’s arm, carefully. “I was worried about your safety after I received your message.”

  Matthew had to clear his throat to speak. Ash’s claws felt close to extending against his skin and the tickle raised the hair on Matthew’s arm.

  “I was worried about my safety too,” Matthew said. “Turns out for a good reason. Asshole’s back.”

  Ash didn’t release his arm, which Matthew had half expected. “Who?”

  “The guy that shot me.” Matthew indicated his shoulder with his other hand, tracing the scar that Jay’s bullet had left behind. “I was damn lucky he didn’t shoot me in the head. He wanted to.”

  Ash’s fingers curved around Matthew’s flesh tightly, the smooth, warm touch stealing his ability to think quickly. The darkness intensified Matthew’s sense of touch and he could feel the pads of every one of Ash’s fingers pressing against his skin.

  “You’re still so breakable. Not even our gift has eliminated the danger for you.”

  “Nothing’s going to make what I’m doing safe.”

  “It’s time for someone else to take up your task.”

  “No. I’ve got it. I know what I’m doing.” Matthew wedged his elbow under him and rose up on the bed. The mattress trembled with the shift in weight. “There aren’t that many who would know how to fit in.”

  “The human Gerald volunteered. There are others willing to help.”

  Matthew’s eyebrows went up. “Gerald?” He paused, then, “What the hell does Gerald know about any of it? He’d be discovered within a day. He doesn’t have the faintest—”

  “Matthew.”

  Matthew blew out his breath slowly, forcing himself to calm down. “He shouldn’t do it.”

  “Alpha wouldn’t allow it. But my point stands. There are others.”

  Matthew swallowed back his further objections. What it came down to was that if he wasn’t doing this for the wolves, his only connection to any of them—Ash included—would be his friendship with Brendan. And that—it wasn’t enough.

  He rubbed his hand over his face and tugged at Ash’s hold on his wrist. “I’m really tired. I should probably go on to sleep.”

  Ash lowered Matthew’s arm carefully. “Rest then.”

  Matthew dropped b
ack to lie flat on the mattress again and closed his eyes.

  He had just started to drift in the quiet despite the weirdness of Ash standing over him, when the weight of Ash’s hand came down on his thigh. Matthew forced his eyes open, even though he could hardly see anything in the dark anyway.

  The glow of Ash’s eyes above him caught his unfocused gaze.

  “Alpha Paetarikeille is a strong alpha,” Ash said. “If the drugs wear off and he’s compelled to mate you, I—” Ash paused and Matthew’s breath stuck in his lungs. Ash’s brilliant eyes disappeared for several seconds, before reappearing closer to Matthew’s face. Matthew could feel Ash’s breath on his cheek. “Will you submit to him?”

  “I—” Matthew licked his bottom lip, trying to wake up enough to comprehend what Ash was asking him. He frowned. “Why would—the drugs seem to be working fine. No one acted like they were about to go crazy with lust for either me or Sal.” And then Matthew remembered Watcher’s strange behavior. “Well, maybe the watcher, but none of the rest of you.”

  “We can never be sure how effective the drugs will be for any of us, but you shouldn’t worry about the watcher. I won’t let him claim you to mate. But you must be prepared for Alpha Paetarikeille. He’s strong—easily as strong as Alpha Craeigoer. You must submit if the drugs become ineffective and he can’t resist your human scent.” The warm weight of Ash’s other hand pressed against Matthew’s damaged hand again. “If you fight, your ability to heal won’t save you.”

  Matthew shook his head, not knowing what else Ash wanted him to do.

  What would it be like to have someone claim him as a mate? Would he want that when all he could think about right now was how warm Ash’s hands felt on his thigh and his arm? When his dick was getting hard just because Ash was touching him? When Ash was the one he wanted, not some alpha he couldn’t even remember meeting?

  Then he decided he might as well just admit the truth to them both. “Whatever you want me to do. You know I’ll do it.”

  “Then submit. Because I—” Ash’s voice turned deep and troubled. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  After that, Ash backed away. Matthew wasn’t exactly sure where in the room Ash settled, but it was somewhere near the door. Eventually, even though he played over the things Ash had said many times in his mind, he finally feel into a deep sleep and didn’t wake up until the faint light of daybreak spilled into the room.

  By then, Ash had gone.

  Chapter 8

  In the bright light of day, Matthew got his first good look at the alpha. Since no one had given him a human pronounceable version of the alpha’s name to use, he decided “Alpha” was going to have to be good enough.

  Almost as soon as Matthew came out of the bedroom, he was ushered into the kitchen where he found the alpha and Ash quietly discussing him.

  Alpha had golden eyes several shades lighter than Ash’s brilliant amber. He also had a look about him that said he had been an alpha for a very long time. He stood straight and tall, a few inches taller than Ash, in fact, and Ash was as tall as any wolf Matthew had ever met. Matthew was sure he’d met this wolf before now but he still couldn’t place him.

  “Sit. Eat,” Alpha said. He gestured to food that had been spread across the rectangular table. “We’ll leave soon, but first I want to know exactly what led to your injuries.”

  So Matthew ate, and then he told the alpha and Ash exactly what had happened to him over the last few days.

  “I know of this Jay,” Alpha said. “He’s the human who tried to capture the peacemaker and turn him over to Alpha Jetikima.”

  Matthew picked up a few syllables but the rest were buried in the varying pitch of Alpha’s voice. Didn’t matter. He had no idea who the hell Alpha was talking about. Although … he did remember the events of three years ago well enough to remember that Jay had been working to impress a female wolf.

  “He also injured Matthew at the time,” Ash said.

  Alpha stared at Matthew. “I remember. Alpha Craeigoer brought you out of the building before the collapse.”

  “Yeah.” Matthew swiped cracker crumbs off the table in front of him. “I don’t remember a lot about that.”

  “No, I imagine not.” The alpha’s golden eyes traced over Matthew in a way that made Matthew’s skin prickle. Matthew shifted on the hard seat and glanced at Ash.

  Ash’s amber eyes looked back calmly and Matthew forced himself to take a breath.

  The alpha’s nostrils flared. His gold-eyed gaze fixed on Matthew. “What’s wrong? Why are you afraid?”

  “What?” Matthew shook his head and sat back in his chair, pulling his arms in tight across his chest. “I’m not afraid. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  But that wasn’t exactly true. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Ash had asked of him last night. Would he be willing to submit sexually to this alpha if necessary? He didn’t know—even though he agreed with Ash that any other option wasn’t a real option. If he got caught up in a heat fight, he would most likely die. But just thinking about letting the alpha fuck him made his heart pound uncomfortably hard in his chest and stirred up an unpleasant rush of acid in his stomach.

  The alpha turned his head toward Ash.

  Ash seemed to know exactly what the alpha wanted and he stood, his chair screeching across the floor as he did. He leaned over the table, hands braced on the surface and claws peeking from beneath the dark material of his fingernails just enough to scratch the wood of the table.

  Ash’s eyes drifted almost closed as he took a careful sniff of the air. He straightened before he spoke, a pronounced sheen to his brilliant gaze. “His scent—” His nostrils flared as he took a deep whiff. “He’s afraid, but—” Ash leaned even closer, until Matthew could feel his breath across the bridge of his nose. “His scent—” Ash’s claws extended abruptly, digging into the table’s surface.

  Alpha clenched his hand around Ash’s upper arm and yanked him to his side and off the table. His voice came out sharp as he said, “Submit.”

  Ash shook his head, closing his eyes momentarily before reopening them and focusing on Alpha. “My apologies. I—” His hesitation lasted a moment too long.

  Alpha surged to his feet and the entire table jolted. “Submit!”

  Matthew sat as still as possible and tried to ignore the churning in his gut. He’d known heat season had started. Proof of that was harder to accept than he’d imagined. He might not be ready for this.

  Last time, he’d been young and stupid enough not to grasp the enormity of what happened during heat season, how the wolves went from the calm, peaceful people they claimed to be to something beyond human understanding.

  Ash blinked several times, and the fiery light in his eyes faded. He shook his head and stumbled backward, two, three, four steps until he came up against the wall.

  A dark-haired wolf came to the doorway, his gaze flickering around the room. He was the same wolf that had held onto Sal last night.

  “Go!” Alpha ordered.

  His raised voice startled Matthew, who jumped slightly in his seat. He took another deep breath and made himself stay calm. Nothing was out of hand yet, and the alpha seemed aware of the problem developing.

  The wolf turned and left as quick as he’d appeared.

  Alpha took hold of Ash by the back of his neck and brought his head in close. Matthew couldn’t make out what he said—his voice was too low, his tone measured, and his accent thick enough that the words got lost.

  But Ash nodded and visibly relaxed, and Matthew breathed a very real sigh of relief and felt the tension bleed out of his shoulders.

  Alpha’s voice reached more understandable levels, “Go see…” he said, the last word a collection of sounds that most likely named one of the other wolves. “… a stronger dose.”

  “Yes, Alpha.”

  “Your alpha will be proud of your strength.”

  “Yes, Alpha,” Ash said again, voice low, straightening until his weigh
t was on his feet instead of the wall at his back.

  Alpha slowly released Ash, and Matthew was startled to see a trickle of the wolves’ dark red blood at the side of Ash’s neck. Alpha stepped back.

  Ash’s gaze collided with Matthew’s. Matthew hadn’t meant to be caught staring and he quickly dropped his own to the table in front of him.

  His stomach roiled as Ash passed him on his way out of the room, but not because he was afraid of Ash. If Ash tried to take him for a mate, Matthew would submit, and he would do it without hesitation.

  But Ash had never expressed any desire for Matthew before now, so if Ash did try to take him for a mate, it would only be because of Matthew’s human scent. Nothing would change.

  Matthew would still end up alone.

  * * *

  Matthew stole two pairs of socks and a worn out pair of black athletic shoes one size too large from the cabin’s owner. The extra thickness of the doubled up socks made the shoes fit better, although they still didn’t feel quite right on his feet. Better than nothing though, because he sure as hell didn’t want to hike through the woods in socks again. He healed quickly, but he still felt pain and he’d had enough pain the last couple of days to last him a while—preferably the rest of his life, although he doubted he’d be so lucky.

  He had trouble with the laces, the same as he’d had trouble zipping his pants that morning. His injured hand had stiffened to the point of uselessness overnight—as if the damn biotech was fusing his bones together.

  He gritted his teeth, tried again, and finally got the fucking laces tied on his fourth attempt.

  Then he realized he still had to tie the other shoe.

  “Goddammit!”

  Ash found him with his foot up on the edge of the bed, his back bent low, trying to tug his first two fingers free of the knot without undoing the entire thing.

  “I can help,” Ash said.

  “No, dammit. I’ve just about—son of a bitch!” Matthew yanked the lace and started over.

  Ash pushed his hand aside. He quickly knotted the laces while Matthew fumed.