Gerald's Lot Page 20

  He knew it did.

  Wolf one grabbed Gerald by the top of his hood, clenching fabric and hair, and wrenched Gerald’s head sideways. Gerald caught a glimpse of claws coming for him.

  That was it. The end. He knew it, and he felt no peace at the thought. He could have trusted Tanis, been more honest with his family, told Devon how much his friendship—even grudgingly given—had meant to him over the last three years.

  He could’ve told Raleigh he understood the bite of jealousy, and thanked Eris for taking care of him when things got rough. He could’ve told Leif he would have made a good, strong mate for him if he hadn’t been meant for Tanis and that Raleigh was lucky to have him as his first.

  He was one breath away from having his throat torn out when Peyton roared his way into their midst and felled the wolf planning to end Gerald’s too-damn-short life with one powerful blow.

  Wolf one crashed backwards, taking Gerald to the ground with him.

  Voices raised and the wolves’ language rang in the air, and someone yelled, “Submit!” with an authority that bit all the way to Gerald’s core. He rolled away from the wolf who lay unmoving below him and rose onto his hands and knees.

  A steady drizzle of blood made its way from scalp to forehead to the tip of his nose and plopped rhythmically into the pristine white snow below. He started coughing again and had to wipe snot and blood off his upper lip.

  Raleigh had dropped to his knees and he swayed as he knelt, blood dripping from his neck and shoulder and crisscrossing slashes on the side of his face. Blood soaked through the dark fabric of the long-sleeved, snug-fitting shirt that covered him from neck to waist and disappeared into the waistband of a pair of dark trousers.

  Trousers and t-shirts were a popular choice for most of the wolves, clothing in plentiful supply even with the economy in the trash and half the world out of work and out of money.

  Wolf two had also gone to his knees, his head bowed and his chest and shoulders heaving.

  And then Peyton knelt beside Gerald and reached for him, and Gerald slid sideways into him, because Peyton wasn’t Peyton at all, but Tanis, and Gerald knew that before Tanis had even touched him.

  “About fucking time,” he choked out, and he let himself go lax.

  He’d drained his energy reserves until there was nothing left.

  Or maybe it was just the sight of so damn much blood.

  * * *

  Gerald got sicker. And he stayed sick for a damn long time. Nine days, to be exact, before he could sit up on the bed and not feel like he was dying from some mutant version of the ever prevalent influenza virus. Humans would never be rid of it and humans were more than half to blame, because in an effort to make it more easily controlled they’d taken something that could be deadly and turned it into something that most assuredly was.

  Control over nature was an illusion.

  That belief was one reason he found it so reasonable to forgive the wolves for what their presence on Earth had caused. Chaos and death, miracles and wonder. It was all a thing of beauty when you just looked deep enough.

  He found out six humans had died in the mountain-side den. Including Jeremy “Jay” McDonald.

  Matthew came by to see him one morning and told him the story of Jay and a cold, deep, dark pool of water.

  Gerald couldn’t feel sorry for Jay after that. He’d looked deep and found beauty. Nana would be proud.

  But Lamar—Lamar was a different story. Gerald couldn’t quite see the beauty in that. Alan had broke the news to him, told him Lamar had already been dead when they got to him. He’d probably died while he was clutching Gerald’s hand.

  Jacob wouldn’t like hearing it. Their friendship hadn’t lasted after Lamar helped Gerald join the fight against the renegades, but Gerald was pretty damn sure Jacob wished it had been different.

  But some things were too hard to forgive, Jacob had said once, and that was one of those things as far as he was concerned.

  Royce wouldn’t mourn, not like Jacob. He’d been madder than the rest at Lamar’s betrayal.

  “I told that fucker to leave you out of it,” he’d told Gerald on that cold, snowy day in the woods. “And I thought you had enough sense to keep your head down and let the people in charge figure this shit out. Mama needs us here, Sunny! Nana needs us. Gracie and Jacob need us.”

  “It’s not right what they’re doing!” Gerald had yelled. “You know it and I know it and Daddy would be so fucking ashamed of you and me both to know we even hesitated to make the hard choice!”

  Of course, Royce had slammed his foot on the gas and driven away, leaving Gerald to wipe slush off his face and cuss into the blustery wind.

  It was the third morning when he’d realized he was rarely alone in the bed. It was the fifth when he’d realized he was back in the house he’d shared with Tanis. It was the seventh when he’d opened his eyes to see Tanis in a chair pulled up beside the bed with his head in his hands and his claws scratching in a quiet slow motion at his scalp, as if he were lost in thought and didn’t know what to do with himself.

  And on the ninth day, Gerald had rolled over and groaned, his face sweaty and his underarm pinched and his leg numb, and after a throat-clearing cough, he’d said, “What the fuck.”

  Eris’s head came up, a weight off Gerald’s shoulder he hadn’t even noticed. He reached across Gerald and shoved Raleigh. When Raleigh moved, the pinch at his underarm disappeared.

  The weight putting his leg to sleep shifted off him and Leif said, “I’ll tell Alpha his mate is awake.”

  “Hey,” Gerald croaked, then coughed, phlegmy and weak. “Ah shit. Give me a—Oh, God—”

  Someone handed him a tissue.

  He quickly spat before he gagged again. “That’s nasty.”

  Eris propped his head on his hand and looked down at Gerald. “You were fighting several infections. It was difficult to keep them all under control long enough to keep you alive. We were worried about you.”

  Gerald breathed deep but his lungs felt good and the urge to cough was nothing but a faint tickle in the back of his throat. He cleared his throat a few more times, then got back to the thing that had been on his mind. “Somebody needs to move his hand.”

  Raleigh sighed and rolled over onto his back and the warm palm at Gerald’s dick went with him. Raleigh stretched, his lean naked torso highlighted by a streak of sun coming through the windows.

  “So, uh, somebody want to tell me why I’m the filling in a wolf sandwich?”

  “The heat cycles have ended,” Eris said. “Alpha gave us permission to sleep in his bed again now that we don’t have to be concerned your scent will trigger the lust craze. We kept you warm when the fever made you cold.”

  “I told you he’d be ungrateful,” Raleigh said with a snort. “If I were Alpha’s mate—”

  “Hush, Raleigh.” Tanis’s voice came from the doorway, and Raleigh sat up quickly, taking all the warm covers with him.

  Gerald grunted at the sudden chill against his skin and his scalp tingled.

  “Leave us,” Tanis said.

  Eris and Raleigh climbed from the bed and dressed, then left through the doorway Tanis stood beside. When they were gone, he closed the door and walked to the foot of the bed.

  “At first I thought you were a spy, then I thought you were a bad guy.”

  Tanis watched him with that vibrant red-gold gaze of his.

  “Now I don’t know what the fuck you are.”

  “I’m your mate.”

  “What you are is a prick. That was an unspoken question. You should answer it. I think we’ve proved pretty effectively that what I don’t know is going to hurt me.” His throat felt tight from disuse but otherwise he felt alive and that was a damn miracle.

  Tanis might have smiled—or he just liked showing off his eyeteeth to Gerald. “I enjoy your flirting.”

  “You have to stop thinking I’m flirting with you every time I call you a prick.”

  “Would you rathe
r I believe you mean to insult me?”

  Gerald felt a warm flush heat his face. Probably just the damn fever coming back. But he knew it wasn’t. “No.”

  Tanis gave him that smile again. “You’re resilient and strong, and I regret that my silence caused you pain. But if you’d known what I was planning to do, your life would have been in even more danger than it was. Even one small slip with Eris, Leif, or Raleigh could have led to your death. They’re loyal and strong betas, but my grip had to be absolute at the time I changed direction or I would have lost them to my former alpha.”

  Getting information out of Tanis was like interpreting a dream. Gerald waved his arm. “So you’re saying even your pack didn’t know what you were doing?”

  “Watchers are always watching. They couldn’t know.”

  Gerald leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and his weight on his elbows.

  Tanis came around the bed and sat beside him. “How do you feel?”

  “Alive.” Said with all the fervor he could muster. Alive was a good place to be.

  This skin around Tanis’s fiery eyes crinkled. His unusual hair was loose around his face and a strand seemed stuck at the corner of his mouth.

  Gerald reached out but hesitated with his hand in midair before he let out a huff of breath. He tucked the strand of hair behind Tanis’s ear. “Why do you and your brothers wear your hair longer than everyone else?”

  “It tells the watchers who we are.”

  “You’re that important that everyone has to know you on sight?”

  “Important, yes. And dangerous. But you need more rest, so let us talk about something else. Your friend Devon wants to see you.”

  “Oh, God. Devon. Is he all right? Did he get the—”

  “His mate treated him with heavy doses of human designed anti-viral medications. He did not get sick.”

  The drumbeat of Gerald’s heart slowed. “Thank God.”

  “Your care for him says he’s important to you. Do you want to see him?”

  “Not now. But yeah, when I’m not so damn tired.”

  “I’m glad you’ll have pack mates who care about you when I die.”

  And there it was. The big black stain on Gerald’s happiness at being alive.

  Chapter 26

  Gerald’s gaze narrowed in on Tanis. “You still believe you’re going to die before the next heat season?”

  Tanis frowned. “I don’t just believe it. I know it.”

  He brushed his hand across Gerald’s scalp and that was when Gerald realized for the first time that his head felt oddly light.

  “Oh my God. Somebody shaved my head.” He reached up and dragged his hand along his scalp, then winced. “Ow. That still hurts.”

  He turned a betrayed gaze on Tanis. “What the fuck? You people can fix Matthew’s hand in a day and you leave a giant gash in my scalp to heal on its own? You should’ve used that miracle tech on me. I know you’ve got something here. Lie all you want, but I know it.”

  Tanis took Gerald’s wrist in hand and lowered his arm. He continued to hold on to Gerald even after placing Gerald’s hand in his lap. “That’s something you’ll have to choose, once you understand the consequences. I couldn’t take that choice away from you after taking so much.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “A discussion for later. I thought you wanted to know what went on at the den.”

  “So what happened? It’s a jumble in my memories and the hell if I can figure it out.”

  “I became Alpha and stole the packs from Jetikima. She chose death instead of submission, and her betas belong to me now. I control the den, and the majority of the watchers, and I have an agreement with First Alpha to reintegrate the packs.”

  Gerald’s look of incomprehension must have been enough of a clue for Tanis to realize he needed to elaborate.

  “There is a prophecy that guided us here, to Earth, but there was a divide between those watchers who interpreted the signs. Most chose to follow First Alpha’s rule, some chose to follow a different path. My alpha chose the latter. But because of my and my kin’s unique role in the prophecy, we’ve always been allowed to stay on both paths.”

  “Okay, sure,” he said, even though Tanis was already losing him. And then something clicked, as if his brain had been slowed by his illness and his thoughts just needed a little extra time to come together. “Ah, because you guys are supposed to be the ones to sire the next generation of Diviners, right?”

  “I knew the moment I mated you I could no longer stay on both paths.”

  Gerald nodded, because that did make sense. One thing he’d picked up in the last three years on the job was that the rogue wolves were suspected to be as anti-human as the renegades were anti-wolf.

  “I’ve always believed your species is inferior. I have no patience for the hypocrisy and lies of the people who rule your kind. I thought you were the unreasonable species—expecting us to mold ourselves to your ideals of civilized behavior while you barely grasped the nature of our needs. We have our own customs and culture. Our society is ours and isn’t to be judged by a people with no knowledge of what it means to be us.”

  Tanis’s nostrils had flared, and his eyes glowed with a fiery light.

  Despite the heat of his words, Gerald wasn’t afraid.

  Tanis continued, his voice deep and almost tender. “I thought it was best that your people learn quickly to either accept us as we are or deal with the consequences of ignorance. It was an arrogant view of your species and I had to face those views before I could accept my fate.”

  “When the hell did you do all this self-reflection? All we did was fuck and eat for thirteen days.”

  “You showed loyalty and kindness, understanding and determination. You submitted to my rule without question—”

  Gerald snorted. “I’m not sure you’re remembering those first few days all that well.”

  “I remember everything. You opened my eyes to the arrogance in my heart, to the foolishness in my soul.”

  Holy mother of God. Tanis was serious. It was humbling for Gerald to think he’d had that much of an impact on someone just by staying true to who he was.

  It also—despite his fatigue—made his dick a little hard.

  “Heat season is over, but I find you unreasonably hard to resist—Sunny.”

  The familiar name sounded remarkably warm coming from Tanis’s mouth.

  Gerald rubbed his thumb across Tanis’s broad knuckles. “We can make this work, but I can’t change who I am.”

  “You cannot return to the life you had. And I’m sorry I can’t give you what you truly need.”

  “We’ll compromise,” Gerald said, trying to ignore the knot in his chest. “That’s just what we’ll have to do. I want to be your mate, even if—even if—but I want to spend time with my family, take care of some shit back home. I have an obligation to tell James—”

  “You cannot tell anyone of the things you’ve learned as my mate, and it’s my responsibility to help you maintain your loyalty to your new pack and your alpha even when your old one calls to you.”

  Gerald exhaled roughly, his fatigue suddenly bone deep.

  Tanis gently set aside Gerald’s hand and stood. “Rest, eat, and sleep. And tomorrow, when you’re feeling stronger, I’ll summon Devon to come see you.”

  * * *

  He woke up with wolves in his bed again.

  “Get that fucking elbow out of my back,” he groused, only half awake. The sun was spilling through the windows and the light made him want to keep his eyes closed tight.

  “You and Ian need to get friendly. Seems like you’ve got something in common. You like your bed full of wolves.”

  “What?” Gerald raised his head, and something hit him right in the tender spot on his scalp. “Ow! Shit, Raleigh.”

  “It wasn’t me,” Raleigh said, yawning around his words.

  “Sorry,” Leif said. “I’ll sleep on the other side of Eris next time.”
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br />   He almost threw out a quip that maybe they should find their own damn bed, but shut his mouth at the last second. One of them might take him seriously.

  He sat up, but Devon waved him back. “Tanis warned me not to wear you out or rile you up. We thought you were going to die, so how about you just rest and I’ll sit here.”

  Then he plopped down on the hard chair near the bed and reared back, thighs spread wide for comfort. “Anytime, boys. We’re going to talk and I don’t want an audience reporting everything I say back to his mate.”

  Raleigh rolled and propped up on his elbow. “You’re not our alpha.”

  Eris grabbed Raleigh by the back of the neck and hauled him half off the bed. The wrestling shook the bed, and then Raleigh went down over the side, while Eris stood back so Raleigh could get to his feet.

  Raleigh showed his teeth at Eris, but rose and started pulling on his trousers. The sight of that tight ass when he bent to pull them up his legs did things to Gerald he probably shouldn’t be thinking about.

  That was when Raleigh looked over his shoulder, giving Gerald a look that said he knew exactly what Gerald was thinking.

  Gerald looked away, only to catch Devon glaring at him.

  “Hey, he’s putting it on display. How’s that my fault?”

  “You’re such a sleaze.”

  A soft noise came from Raleigh.

  “What?” Devon demanded.

  “He’s Alpha’s mate. You’re not even worthy to submit to him.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Raleigh,” Eris snapped. “He’s alpha. Submit.”

  Raleigh’s eyes lit on Gerald. “I’d rather submit to Alpha’s mate. I’ve never been fucked by a human before.”

  Devon looked up at the ceiling. “God Almighty!”

  Eris shook his head and picked out several fresh garments from a tall chest of drawers, somehow managing to keep Raleigh in line until they were both fully dressed and had left Gerald alone with Devon.

  “That one’s going to be trouble,” Devon said, still staring at the door Raleigh had closed behind him.