Matthew's Chance Read online

  His pulse beat at his throat as Ash pushed his face down into the mess he’d just made and dragged his teeth over Matthew’s inner thigh. Matthew hadn’t even had time to get used to that sensation when Ash reared up and grabbed Matthew by the back of his knees and spread him wide.

  Matthew sucked in his breath just as Ash fit the head of his dick to Matthew’s hole and pushed through Matthew’s well-lubed anus to bury himself deep in Matthew’s ass.

  He wasn’t prepared. He’d thought he’d have more warning. The stretch burned and Matthew had to catch his breath even as Ash started rutting into him, a fast, hard thrusting that ground Matthew’s back into the unyielding floor beneath him.

  Matthew gritted his teeth and raised his leg against Ash’s waist. The move took some of the pressure off his spine and caused Ash’s dick to glance off Matthew’s prostate and he let out a whine at the spark of pleasure that jolted through him.

  Ash fucked him like that for a good long while, coming three more times before his heat loosened its hold on him.

  When Ash’s rutting eased and his breathing slowed, Matthew wrapped his arm around the back of Ash’s head and pulled him down to rest against his chest, and closed his eyes, ignoring the unsatisfied ache in his cock and balls and the hot tingle in his ass.

  Goddamned wolves.

  He might hate Ash after this, if only because he knew someday Ash would find that mate he deserved and it wouldn’t be him. And now he knew just one more thing he’d be missing when it happened.

  Chapter 15

  Despite Matthew’s discomfort on the hard floor, he must have fallen asleep, because when he woke, the room was dark and he could hear the sound of a low wind outside against the side of the house and his back was sweaty with the heat coming off Ash’s body curled around him.

  Ash nuzzled his face into Matthew’s shoulder and Matthew flopped over on his side so he could shake the circulation back into his arm. A moment later, Ash came awake—Matthew could tell because he felt Ash tense just before he rolled over and sat up in one fluid movement.

  Matthew rubbed his face and groaned into his hands. “I’m so goddamn tired.”

  Ash touched Matthew’s shoulder. “Did I hurt you?”

  Matthew lowered his hands but he couldn’t really see Ash’s expression in the dark. “I’m okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Matthew stood up. He wasn’t as steady on his feet as he expected to be. “Whoa.”

  Ash stood beside him, eyes glowing faintly. “You need to rest. You’re still healing. I can’t regret that I claimed you for a heat mate, but I’m going to do what I can to make sure you don’t exhaust yourself.”

  “Hey,” Matthew said, “I just need some sleep and something to eat and I’ll be ready to ride that rod of yours again til dawn. Trust me.”

  He felt Ash’s snort as much as heard it.

  “Hey,” he said again, then yawned before he could even start to chastise Ash for doubting him.

  “I’m putting you to bed,” Ash said, taking Matthew’s arm.

  Matthew turned with Ash but said, “No, no, no. Bathroom first. I definitely need the bathroom first.”

  “Ah,” Ash said, and then he led Matthew across the room.

  He heard a soft flick and then light began to glow dimly from the ceiling to illuminate the room. Ash opened the door in front of him.

  “I’ll clean you.”

  “That would be weird,” Matthew said.

  “Nevertheless, caring for you is my most important obligation at the moment. You’re my heat mate.”

  “And I have privacy needs that maybe you don’t understand because you don’t have an ass full of someone else’s bodily fluids.”

  Ash pushed the door open and gently urged Matthew across the threshold. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  “I’m not embarrassed,” Matthew said, noticing the light slowly rising in the room. The place he’d stayed when he was having the biotechnology treatments had had the same kind of lighting, controlled by an automatic process after dark. He looked for the panel where he could override the illumination setting, found it, and reset the light so he could see well enough to shower.

  Over his shoulder, he heard the faucet turn on. He turned just as the glass Ash held clinked against the top of the counter by the sink.

  He met Ash’s gaze with raised eyebrows.

  “You’re thirsty,” Ash said.

  “Yeah.” Matthew shuffled his feet and glanced toward the mirror behind Ash. He looked like shit, exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes, hair lopsided, lips dry, and beard rough. Great.

  He raised his hand and fluffed his hair.

  “I’ll give you your privacy.”

  His gaze flickered toward Ash who looked back at him with a clear-eyed gaze and the corner of his mouth turned up.

  Matthew couldn’t stop the half-laugh that came out. “Thanks.”

  Ash left then, pulling the door closed behind him.

  Matthew immediately started pulling out the drawers, looking for one of the wolves’ hair removal devices. God, he looked like a goddamn vagrant.

  What a way to win his man.

  His hand hesitated on the corner of the next drawer. Was that what he wanted? To try to make Ash see him as possible mating material?

  He exhaled explosively and jabbed at the spot that would make the drawer slide open. Of course that was what he wanted. Now that he wasn’t stuck in the woods, running on nothing but adrenaline and fear, he was feeling a lot more like himself, and he wasn’t a pessimistic man by nature.

  Ash had said more than once that he wanted to mate Matthew. That had to mean something. Had to, goddammit.

  So he would take that and he would be the best goddamn heat mate Ash had ever had.

  Matthew tried to hurry but he was too tired to really move all that fast, so he just got everything done the best he could.

  Unfortunately, he almost dozed off in the shower. The warm water pounded into his back and legs and he leaned forward for just a moment, resting his head on the wall and the next thing he knew his leg was slipping out from under him and he yelped and jerked so hard he almost knocked his head into the tiled wall.

  The bathroom door opened, and Ash came in, stalking straight to the shower where he slid the door back and pulled Matthew out.

  “Did you hurt yourself?” he asked.

  Water dripped off Matthew and all over the floor but the jets had shut off automatically as he stepped across the threshold.

  Matthew had that queasy feeling in his stomach that came from waking too quickly and he couldn’t stop his jittery laugh. He swiped water off his face and then made a grab for the thick towel hanging off a hook beside the shower stall. “No. Just about busted my ass in the shower’s all. I didn’t realize how tired that biotech had made me after all the healing I’ve been doing—I’ve never healed so many injuries so quickly before. I think…” His knees didn’t seem to be able to hold him up. “Shit. I need some sleep.”

  “I shouldn’t have let you do this alone.”

  “I don’t need a keeper. I do plenty of stuff alone that’s more risky than taking a shower when I’m tired.”

  “You shouldn’t.”

  Matthew glanced sideways at Ash. “Are we still talking about the shower?”

  Ash’s mouth seemed tighter than usual. Sometimes with the wolves Matthew found it hard to tell what they were thinking by watching their faces. He wasn’t having a lot of trouble telling that Ash was upset about something right then though.

  “What is it?”

  “Your care is my responsibility. I keep failing you.”

  “What? That’s crazy. You fought to keep the alpha from taking me, you tried to protect me while we were in the woods, even though you were crazed with lust because of your heat. I don’t know how you can call that failure.”

  Ash reached up and dragged his blunt fingertips across the underside of Matthew’s neck. “I hurt you here.” />
  Matthew raised his hand and probed at the small scabs covering the teeth marks Ash had left behind. “You knew I would heal.”

  “I wasn’t thinking at all. If you had been unable to heal so quickly, I might have killed you.”

  “You barely broke the skin, for God’s sake. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  “No. I won’t accept excuses for what I’ve done to you. I’ve hurt you and when heat season ends, you will have my complete submission as proof of my regret and my sorrow.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Your submission is a gift, and I’ve abused it.”

  “That’s not even close to the truth. You haven’t abused me.”

  Ash’s lips pulled away from his teeth and his eyes looked on Matthew with an uncomfortable intensity. “Will you reject my submission?”

  “I—don’t have any idea what you expect from me. I won’t do anything to hurt you, if you somehow think that’s going to make me feel better.”

  Ash was already shaking his head. “It’s a custom of my people to offer a mate who pleases us our own submission after the heat. You don’t have to accept the gift, and heat mates often don’t, but I am offering you my submission. I want you to accept my offer.”

  Matthew eyed Ash. “Is this—would that mean—” What he really wanted to know and couldn’t seem to ask was if he would be expected to fuck Ash. Because, goddammit, Matthew didn’t know if he could turn something like that down.

  He’d offered his ass up to Brendan because that was what Brendan had wanted from him, but as a general rule, Matthew wasn’t usually the one who ended up with a dick in his ass. Of course, he’d never thought twice about doing it for Ash, because he’d had this idea that Ash wouldn’t—

  That thought came to an abrupt end as he realized how stupid the idea was.

  He had no way of knowing what kind of sex Ash liked outside of heat season. Matthew had never seen Ash with anyone, had never had any opportunity to find out if Ash was even sexually attracted to other males. They’d never discussed sex.

  Sure, he’d flirted with Ash while he’d been taking medical treatments from the wolves after he’d been given the wolves’ biotechnology—he’d almost died, but that wasn’t something he liked remembering. He’d been scared shitless when it had looked like his own immune system was going to kill him over that biotech—but Ash had never flirted back and Matthew wasn’t sure if it had been because Ash didn’t understand the flirting or if it was because he wasn’t interested.

  He had to wonder about all that now that the thought had come to him.

  And the only way to get the answers he wanted was to ask.

  So he asked. “How—when it’s not heat season—who do you—”

  Shit.

  Asking so personal a question wasn’t as easy as he’d thought it would be. He cleared his throat, watching Ash’s curious expression as Ash waited for him to speak.

  What if he didn’t like Ash’s answer?

  What if his human scent was the only thing about Matthew that appealed to Ash sexually?

  After a moment, Ash sighed softly and pulled Matthew forward. “It’s time for you to rest. My next heat cycle is probably hours away, but there’s no way to know for certain. You need to sleep and eat to keep up your strength, to help you finish healing. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

  So that would be that if Matthew didn’t work up the nerve to just ask outright. And how could he be the best heat mate Ash had ever had if he didn’t know these things?

  Quickly, before he lost his nerve, he blurted out, “Did you fuck guys? I mean, before Earth. Outside of heat season, or inside it, I don’t know. What do you like?”

  Ash’s eyebrows drew together. “Why does that matter? Heat season is for breeding.”

  That was avoidance if he’d ever heard it.

  Matthew palmed his dick and gave Ash a direct look. “Yeah, there ain’t no breeding going on here.”

  “Humans have interfered with our usual choices during heat season. During heat, we usually choose mates for breeding, unless we’re already mated.”

  “Did you?”

  “I have children from my first and second.”

  Matthew’s mouth parted on a sigh. “Oh.”

  “But outside of heat season I don’t choose females. I don’t usually choose at all.”

  “Oh,” he said again, taking hold of Ash’s arm. Just a short step forward and they might as well be embracing.

  “Why don’t you choose? Are you celibate or something?”

  Ash moved his leg and then used his hold on Matthew’s arm to pull him closer. He kissed Matthew on the mouth using teeth and tongue and leaving Matthew almost breathless when he shifted his attention to Matthew’s jaw.

  The sharp points of his teeth dragged across the new smoothness of Matthew’s cheek and chin and with a simple twist of his head—Matthew wasn’t even sure how Ash did it—he’d pushed Matthew’s head back and started trailing kisses down the column of his throat.

  Matthew let out a short, breathy sigh and tilted his head to the side so Ash could have all the neck he wanted access to.

  Hot tongue wet Matthew’s skin and he couldn’t stop the shiver that raced through him.

  “I’m not celibate,” Ash said, his quiet words catching Matthew by surprise.

  He’d thought Ash was deliberately avoiding an answer, but he’d obviously just been waiting for something.

  Ash’s lips pressed to Matthew’s collarbone and again the points of his teeth dragged over Matthew’s flesh. “I don’t usually choose to fight. I submit.”

  Matthew’s stomach quivered. There was no other way to explain the fine tremors he could feel running through his insides as he listened to the deep, dark sound of Ash’s voice.

  “So.” Matthew let his eyes fall closed. “Do you fuck them or—or do they fuck you?”

  Ash bit down on Matthew’s collarbone and Matthew gasped his next breath as every muscle in his body tensed.

  He opened his eyes and grabbed Ash’s head. Ash turned into the touch, twisting so that his hair slid silky and soft beneath Matthew’s hands.

  “I submit,” Ash said. “I’m not alpha. I’ve never wanted anything or anyone badly enough to choose to fight for the rights of one.”

  Ash had fought for the right to claim Matthew as his heat mate. That meant something, he knew it did. Matthew could hardly breathe through the want clogging his throat and his dick was so hard against Ash he thought his flesh might have turned to stone. “Oh God. I want to fuck. I want to fuck you so bad.”

  “You need rest.”

  Ash’s strong hands gripped Matthew at the waist and Ash caught Matthew by complete surprise when he hauled Matthew up and over his shoulder. Matthew scrambled to grab at Ash’s bare back. “What the hell, Ash?”

  “Bed.” Ash said. “It’s my duty to care for you and that’s exactly what I intend to do.”

  “You can’t tell me something like that and then just expect me to lay down and go off to sleep.” Matthew squirmed against Ash as Ash’s heavy steps carried them out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. The bathroom lights dimmed to nothing as they went.

  Ash’s shoulder bulged as he reached out flicked his fingers across the light switch. The panel flashed and the ceiling lights lowered to levels no stronger than the weak moonlight that came in through the room’s windows.

  As soon as the bed was beside them, he dropped Matthew to the mattress and Matthew bounced into an excess of fluffy pillows. He kicked out, knocking three of them right off the side of the bed to whump against the floor.

  Ash snorted and came down on his knees on the edge of the mattress, right beside Matthew’s thigh. He leaned over Matthew and dragged a pillow forward and tucked it under Matthew’s head. “Sleep.”

  Matthew rolled to his side, shoving his arm under the pillow and reaching down with his other hand to touch his dick.

  Ash gripped his hand and stopped h
im. “Sleep.”

  “God, you’re kidding right? I’m so hard I won’t ever get to sleep.”

  “Of course you will. You’re exhausted.” Ash pushed Matthew’s hand down on the bed. “Close your eyes.”

  “You’re being a dick.”

  “I am not being a dick,” Ash said.

  “Ha. That outrage is so fake I can smell the fake in it with my weak little human nose.”

  Ash’s eyes barely glowed under the faint light and his expression hid in the shadows but Matthew heard Ash’s short huff of breath.

  “See,” Matthew said. “Even you know it’s wrong to leave a man wanting something he can’t have.”

  Ash’s warm hand cupped Matthew’s balls. Matthew let out his breath in a sharp exhale.

  “I haven’t said you can’t have what you want.”

  Matthew’s mouth went dry. “So—”

  “But you can’t have it now. You need to go to sleep. When you wake up, I’ll feed you and then mate you again.”

  “Feed me? What’s that?”

  Ash’s exasperated exhale told Matthew he’d pushed about as far as he should so he put his hand up and said, “Got it. Going to sleep.”

  He closed his eyes.

  The next time he opened his eyes, sunlight was streaming through the windows and someone, somewhere had slammed a door.

  He groaned and rubbed vigorously at his face.

  “Wake up, Matty-boy.”

  Matthew lurched upright on the bed. “What the hell, Fletcher.”

  A second later he realized he was still completely naked on top of the bedding. He grabbed for one of the pillows and flopped it down over his groin.

  Fletcher laughed at him.

  “You asshole.” Matthew scooted to the edge of the bed. “Turn around, fucker, so I can put on some pants.”

  “I’ve already seen it, no point hiding it now.” But Fletcher took a quick look around and then grabbed up the jeans Matthew had been wearing yesterday and tossed them onto Matthew’s lap. “There you go. Make it quick.”